Saturday was a big night for short-and-sassy-hairdo lover Heather Renee French, Dorothy Hamill's spiritual hair spawn and the new Miss America 2000 from Kentucky! She knocked out two blond muffies, an adopted Asian, and an African-American woman from Illinois who really should have won. According to eyewitness reports, Ms. French, who apparently earned that last name of hers, thanked all the little people she crushed with stiletto pumps on her way to the throne.
She'd neither divorced nor aborted a child at press time, yet Miss French indicated that she would have happily done either, "for harmony on the Miss America set."
In an exclusive E-Pop! interview, Miss French stated, "in the coming year, I look forward to teaching the retarded to sing 'Dixie' and sleeping with Kevin Costner."